Here is my siituation...
My wife and I were introduced to swinging by a couple that we are truely good friends with. They have been swinging for a while, and were always open about it with us, and that allowed us plenty of time to grow comfortable. We have engaged in what some people call "closed swinging". Nor my wife or I are at all interested in a group thing. Possibly with this couple,but certainly not with strangers.

That's the background. Now that we have been involved, I have a few fear and questions. First let me state that I am 100% comfortable with my wife and this other man. That is not an issue at all.

What frightens me is the thought of the other woman not being into me, and "taking one for the team". My wife and I are totally cool with not having an even swap. I want to be able to tell the other woman that its cool if she's not into me. The problem is... how do I do that without offending her if she is, or killing the mood. I'm afraid that if I bring this up with her, and she is attracted to me sexually, I will ruin my chances or ruin her perceptiion of me.

Any advice would be appreciated.
-Norm